


You Are My Sunshine

by LetTheSunshine (WolfOfMiracles), WolfOfMiracles



Series: You Are My Sunshine [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: #TeamNegan, Eating Disorder, Gonna be over 100 chapters, HUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGE Negan fan, Huuuugee Cegan fan!, I meant Cegan, Implied/Referenced Mpreg, Lots Of Fantasizing (By Carl), Lots of fights, M/M, Not very good tags (yet)), Rushed Cega relationship, anyway, great jokes, hope you like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 8,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22871938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfOfMiracles/pseuds/LetTheSunshine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfOfMiracles/pseuds/WolfOfMiracles
Summary: This takes place after Negan kills Olivia and Spencer. Also Negan is 32 in this.Carl gets pisssssssed at Negan and fights with his dad. Oh, and also hurts his hand.
Relationships: Carl & Michonne, Carl Grimes & Enid, Carl Grimes & Judith Grimes, Carl Grimes & Original Character(s), Rick & Carl, Rick Grimes/Michonne, negan/carl grimes
Series: You Are My Sunshine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671439
Comments: 29
Kudos: 48





	1. Bed Flop

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry everyone. The relationship goes too fast, so expect it in chap. 7

Carl takes care of Olivia's body, and quickly grabs a knife to kill her when she turns. Rick sighs and comes over after killing Spencer. Carl turns, but just then, Olivia's eyes open and she starts groaning. Carl shoves the knife into her throat and up her skull.

"Carl…" Rick says, and clears his throat. Carl turns. 

"I know," Carl says forcefully, but gets cut off. 

"I don't think you do," Rick says. "When I leave, it doesn't mean 'time to sneak off into Negan's camp and try to kill him'!" Rick tries to calm down. 

"Dad!" Carl yells. "Dad, do you see how he treats us? We scavenge for days, and-" 

"It's a problem all of us need to fix together, Carl! Not just me, or you, or Michonne, or anyone! So just stop sneaking off!" Rick yells back. 

Carl crosses his arms and glares at his dad. 

"Go to your room." Rick says tiredly. Carl tosses his arms up in the air and stomps to his room. 

Carl slams the door and remembers that he doesn't have a bed to flop on anymore. He groans and punches the wall, only to be cradling it to his chest, wincing from pain. 

"I hate him. _Hate_ him. I will seriously _kill_ him." Carl whispers "menacingly"

Carl sighs and lies down on the floor. 

A few days later, Rick leaves with Michonne on a scavenge. 

For the past few days, Carl had been moping and sulking around the house, eating pudding cups until his dad told him to stop. So then he moved on to TV and chips. 

He grabs an apple-right now-and ponders whether he should leave when Negan comes around the next day. 

"Carl," Rosita says as she passes by. "Stop emotionally eating. We need more food now than ever." Carl sighs and puts down the apple. 

But then as soon as she leaves, he takes a bite and keeps pondering. 

"Why not?" he says out loud. "Oh, y'know, you'd end up killed by your dad." he answers himself. 

But then a loud clanking sound by the gate comes out and some Alexandrians-as you might call them- come in the gate, the car full of goodies. 

Carl uses the chance to sneak out, apple in hand, knife at the ready. He hides until the gate closes, then uses his knife to cut of pieces of his apples and pop them in his mouth.


	2. Idiotic Move, Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl wonders why things are what they are, and makes it somewhere, gets caught, and-  
> I'm spoiling too much already!

"Why is it called 'popping' things in your mouth?" Carl wonders, mouth full. He falls into a steady stroll, and tosses the apple's core on the ground to leave for the surviving birds. There were many. 

Carl wonders where he's going. To kill Negan was the obvious choice, yet it wasn't true.

But then he remembers how Negan made him _sing_ to him. And show him his 'rad-ass, badass, disgusting eye'. That arrogant ass! 

Carl couldn't help but narrow his eye. But that made him laugh. Narrowing _one_ eye. 

Carl walked down the road for what seemed like a little bit, which turned into two hours. 

He freezes once he realizes where he is. He had single-handedly, unknowingly, moronically, led himself to about thirty yards from the Saviors' camp. 

Carl cursed to himself. "You idiot, moron, and shit-brained…" he struggles to think. "Fuh." he finishes, making a fist and pounding it against his head.

Carl turns around, but then, looking up, he realizes that is was almost nighttime. 

"Oh my god," he groans. "Now either way, I'm gonna be dead." He starts walking home, swallowing down uncertainty. 

"My dad's gonna kill me…."


	3. Cool Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl actually gets caught in this one (lol), and some _"Cool shit"_ happens. 
> 
> Have fun, my sweet readers :D 
> 
> I have so much hits already! x3 (Also, I am so dedicated to Sunshine that I have already written down 64 chapters. P.S. Sunshine is it's nickname)

As Carl starts walking home, a motorcycle's wheels screeching filled the silence. Carl swings around, arms up, ready to run.

"Well, well, well," says Dwight, getting off the motorcycle. "Lookie what we have here." He walks over, a stupid smug smile on his face. Carl's arm twitches, wanting to slap it off.

Dwight motions to Carl. "Negan's gonna want to see you." Carl sighs inwardly. _Just great._

Dwight walks the motorcycle slowly to the Saviors's place. Carl walks behind him, ready to give the knife to Negan because he knew that asshole would want it.

When they get there, Carl sees Negan walking towards them. "Shit," he said, not able to help it.

"Well, well. Dwight, you just left not even…" Negan looks at his "watch", "ten minutes ago…oh ho ho!" And Carl then knew Negan saw him..

Carl steps out from behind Dwight. "Yeah," he says. "Here I am."

"Again!" Negan chuckles. "Well, kid. Give me the-" Negan stops when Carl was already holding the knife backwards, handle towards Negan. "Did you just…" Negan chuckles again, shaking his head. "Did you all just _see that?"_ Negan takes the knife and slaps Carl on the back.

"Well. Let's go somewhere so we can talk." Negan laughs again. Carl nods once, sharply.

When they were in the room they were before, last time Carl was there, Negan sits across from him.

"Take it off," he says casually. Carl glowers at his hands.

"Take…what off?" he asks, pretending not to know.

"You know exactly what the hell I'm talking about," Negan says, propping his feet up. "You're at _my_ place, so you abide by my rules, got that? So, take it off."

Carl swallows down a whimper as he does so, reaching behind his head and taking his bandage off. Negan smiles.

"Same amount of cool as that shit was before. Now that we have that out of our way, why and how did you come here?"


	4. The (Non-Sex) Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl confides with Negan about some things and Negan asks him random questions. :)<3

Carl found himself confiding in Negan about the pudding and apple and the "bed flop" and Negan even laughes at the part where Carl said he was acting mad and called him an arrogant ass, and killing him even.

"Hmmm…" Negan said after a bit of silence.

"What?" Carl asked. He seemed to be relaxing in Negan's presence… NO! What was he thinking? This is the enemy!

"I was thinking, we should get to know each other better," Negan said, knocking Carl out of his debating.

"You said that last time," Carl replied.

"I know, but we should do more," Negan answered, putting his feet off the table and leaning forward.

"So… whatcha wanna know?" Carl asked, gearing up for sharp mental pokes.

"What pet would you want, favorite color, favorite food, and if you play any instruments, how many girls you've dated and/or kissed or had a crush on blah blah," Negan said, counting them on his fingers. Carl blinked, sort of happy to be asked all those questions. (Besides the last three.)

"Okay… get ready," Carl said, trying to disguise his happiness.


	5. Answering Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl answers Negan's slew of questions, and has some embarrassing inner thoughts!
> 
> (Dun dun _**DUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!**_ )

"I think kitten, blue, duh, spaghetti, duh, my mom was teaching me piano, but…y'know, ummm… zero, uh… one or two I think, one. Crush, as in. One crush." Carl said, answering all those questions. Negan nods, grinning. 

"Nice, kid. But you don't get much action." Negan leans closer a bit. Carl scoffs. 

"Too busy surviving. And-" Negan cuts him off. 

"And trying to-" Carl then cuts _him_ off. 

"Kill you, yeah." Carl finishes. 

"Yeah. You know, I saw a pregnant cat a couple of weeks ago. It's weird. How do they survive and have sex at the same time?" Negan laughs. Carl looks amused. 

"I think they survive, _then_ have, you know, sex." Carl says, relaxing further. 

"Ha ha! I never thought of it like that! Oh, oh! What if they have so survive, but were having sex?!" Negan guffaws. (Guffaw. What a weird word.) Carl laughs a bit too. 

But then he stops abruptly. He had searched his brain, and found part of it obsessing about everything Negan did, like, for example: 

'Oh my god! Negan says the most perfect and funny things! It's-' don't wanna do it '-just the perfect amount of funny and cool and sort of… cute?' Negan isn't cute. He's never been cute and never will be cute. No. The word you're looking for is 'handsome' I believe. 

"What's wrong? You've been staring into space like a lunatic!" Negan starts. Carl looks at him. 

"Yeah I'm cool. Just figured it out that it was two. Crushes, I mean. It's two."


	6. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan sleeeeppp. (Yummy Lol! xD) Sorta. Poor Carl.
> 
> Anyway, then they get up
> 
> Sooo mild chapter

Carl stayed up most of that night, thinking about his confession. When he did fall asleep, he dreamed about Negan. Great. 

When he woke up, he remembered what happened the night before. Negan nodded, then, almost like in a drunken state, since he was tired and they'd stayed up for hours, invited Carl to sleep on the couch. 

Then Negan woke up. Carl looked at him, waiting. 

"What the fu- oh. Holy shit. It's just you." Negan had woken up, then sort of screamed. But just sorta because Negan mostly yells. Carl liked that he didn't really scream. See! Carl's brain was going haywire! Carl was supposed to hate every awesome inch of him. Oh ew. That sounds gross. 

Negan gets up and Carl grabs his bandage to fold up. Carl folds and unfolds it over and over again. 

"Time to go to your dad's. Though I don't know why, I'm feeling generous. Your people can keep more food this time." Negan says, stretching. 

Carl just keeps thinking about how Negan's gonna kill him if he told him… but little did he know, Negan felt the exact same way. 

It was too weird!


	7. Something to Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're on their way to Alexandria! Yay! Eat fuzz!
> 
> (Sorry, I am _soooo_ random sometimes!)
> 
> They have something to say, and they get mushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get awkward and sorta upsetting.
> 
> To Carl and Negan at least xD
> 
> Have fun with this chapter o embarrassment!

They rode in the truck in complete silence, both of them working up the courage to say anything. 

"I got something to say." they both said at the same time. 

"You go, kid." Negan said. Carl shook his head. 

"You should go. You are the leader around this place." Carl says quietly. Negan sighs and decides maybe it would be nice to go first. Carl was thinking the exact same thing. 

"Kid, you're my second cute kid." that's what it all sounded like mushed together. 

"Kid, you're a cute kid." Negan said. Then winced. It sounded weird like that. Sounded better in his head. Carl nodded, not really hearing. 

"I think you're-no.- I know you're my second crush. Okay that sounds horrible oh god." Carl starts blushing like frickin' crazy. "I should not have said anything at all… fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck god damn it!" Carl whispered to himself. Negan looked at him funnily. Sort of… emptily. 

"Does your dad know you swear like that? Never mind. Not important." Negan stops the car and goes on one of the Saviors' walkie talkies. "Go on. I'll be a moment." he said.


	8. The Long M.O.S.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Carl talk… embarrrrrassssinnnng
> 
> But happy ending, you should no worry (lol. Lemme quote Carl; "You sound like a caveman")
> 
> So yeah. They talk. Have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dare you to guess what you think M.O.S. meant when you first saw it, and don't change it once you find out! Comment what you thought it was in the beginning and we'll have a laugh about it xD
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is the chapter where they have a deeper understanding, and more of a relationship.

Negan turns to Carl. "You, me, a talk. Now." Carl laughs a tiny bit. 

"You sound like a caveman." Carl shuts up when he sees the look on Negan's face. Carl's eye starts tearing up. 

"Look," Negan starts. "I don't know you that well, and same for you. You don't really know me. And you obviously wouldn't want to live with me at home, so probably a no-no. Also, your family and friends. And the age difference. Sixteen years, kid! Carl…" Negan trails off. Carl was looking down. 

"This is way too weird…" Carl says. "I get it. IIt's odd for me too…" Carl sniffles. "WHY IS THIS SO WEIRD!?!? I feel like someone just, killed my happiness. Why?" Negan smiles sadly. 

"Hormones, kid. And anyway." Negan lifts Carl's head and looks at him. "Did I ever actually say no to you?" Carl's eye widens and he blinks rapidly. 

Carl actually, on impulse, launches himself over to Negan and locks lips. He startles himself back, but then does it again. Slower. It lasts for a bit, and then they both shift to more comfortable posistions. 

(Did you guess? M: Make O: Out S: Session!)


	9. Completely Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof!  
> As you can tell, they're completely late.
> 
> Carl gets grounded for sneaking off, and Negan "accidentally" leaves Carl a note by the porch steps.
> 
> I hope you liked the last chapter, because more of those soft, sweet, wonderful feeling moments will be back again!
> 
> As well as more talks of the centuries xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapters now, dahlings, but soon my handwriting condenses and more longer chapters arise!
> 
> I love this story…  
> I'm so dedicated x3
> 
> Comment whenever you like to say whatever you think about it! Remember, this work is written down, socan't antchange a thing. But that also means more chapters than normal, cuz a notebook is sooo loooonnng

About fifteen minutes later, they finally arrive at Alexandria. 

"Carl!" Rick says, and runs over to him. "Again! This time, you're grounded. For a week. Until Negan comes back here next." Rick pulls him towards their house. Carl just complies obediantly. 

"Alright. I want to look through everything myself." Negan said. But he had seemed to lose his fun/scary kind of thing. He looked sorta sad about Carl's grounding. 

After all was done, Negan slipped past Carl and "accidentally" drops a pieece of paper by the porch. Carl sits on the porch steps and quickly grabbed it. 

Negan leaves and Rick makes Carl go to his room. Fine by him! Carl runs over there and remembers there is no bed to flop on happily. He sits on the floor and opens the paper. It read: 

'Carl- Okay, sad about being grounded. Just be very good so you might be able to be released early… No. Kid, just wait and I'll give you another one of these next time around. Shit! Someone's looking! Bye kid! 

-Negan' 

Carl smiles. A very long week was yet to come.


	10. The Long, Slow, and Completely Boring Week (Besides 1 Day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl eats.
> 
> A.
> 
> Lot.
> 
> He and Enid talk, and Carl is so happy about it almost being time, he hugs her. In the open! That doofus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you'll see Carl and his eating habits in full.  
> He eats when nervous, bored, sad, angry, happy, and LITERALLY whenever a strong feeling comes over him.
> 
> If he has access to food, he's gonna eat it.

Carl laid around the house all week, watching TV, but not being able to concentrate on what's on. He watched one movie twice before he realized that it wasn't what he thought it was. 

"You can leave the house you know." his dad said once. "You just can't sneak out." it was the day before Negan was supposed to come, and Carl's spirits had brightened. 

"Okay. Hand me a pudding?" Carl asked. Rick sighed, but then gave him a pudding. 

Carl went outside and waved to everyone. 

"Okay. It's been a week. Where's my hug? Or are you not my best friend anymore?" it was Enid. Carl squeezed her tight. Enid yelped. "Not in public, you doofus!" Carl laughed. 

"Sorry." he said. Enid shook her head. 

"What's got you all hyped up?" She asked. Carl grinned. 

"It's been almost a week. I'm almost not grounded." Enid nods. 

"Yeah… I gotta go." she leaves. 

Carl hums around the place, then goes home and makes himself tired by doing all the chores. He passes out from exhaustion, just as planned.


	11. The Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl reads Negan's slightly longer note, and totally MANIPULATES HIS DAD! (Bad Carl, bad)
> 
> Anyway have fun! *gives thumbs up* :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal, really short chapter this time guys. Just bear with me!
> 
> Just a heads up, in the book form I'm at chapter 104! Just keep reading and soon, I can do this! There should be 136 chapters in all, so yeah!

After Carl watched Negan leave, he ran to his room. There was another note to read and he wanted to read it. 

'Carl- Okay, you're not grounded, but you still can't sneak away… well. I can't get grounded. But I don't see how that helps. Jeez, this shit is hard as hell! Well, how about tonight we make a plan. No matter how you do it, just meet me a ways outside of Alexandria around evening. Of course, we have to be quick. Bye kid. Take care. 

-Negan (still wondering how to sign letters to you)' 

Carl smiles and nods. Then he goes to talk to his fdad. 

"Dad, I was wondering… could we make an agreement? I mean, I just want alone time." Carl says quickly, dreading the answer. 

"Well… alright fine. But you _have_ to check in with someone before you leave. And be back before nighttime. Is that okay?" Rick says, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder. 

"Oh wow. Thanks Dad!" Carl says, hugging him. 

"Are you okay?" Rick asks, concerned. Carl nods and calms down. He flicks hair in his face. 

"Can I go today, Dad?" he asks. Rick nods. 

"Okay."


	12. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl goes to see Negan and gets a gorgeous- and cute! - surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally mild, normal chapter. Of course, it's short (Boo to my old handwriting)
> 
> Have fun! Next chapter is on the way!

When Carl went, he heard Negan talking to something. 

"Shaddup. You're gonna ruin the sur- oh hi kid." Negan noticed him. 

Carl went over to him. 

"Surprise!" Negan said. He held out a beautiful gray kitten with amazingly blue eyes. "She didn't shut up on the way, so I had to watch out for the dead." Negan paused. "What are you going to name her?" 

"Hmmm… Emerald. Emie for short." Carl decides. Negan laughs. 

"I would've picked 'Loudmouth' on that one." He hands the kitten to Carl. "Welcome to motherhood." Negan laughs. Carl looks at him. 

"My dad is letting me out. But I have to tell somebody I wanna leave. And I gotta go back before nighttime. So… we can meet tomorrow to see your schedule. I mean, ykou are running a whole group and all." Carl says quietly. Negan nods. 

"Sure kid. That shit sounds fantastic. And now we are waiting here with nothing to do. How do you wanna fix that?" He says. Carl grins. 

"I think I have an idea… talk!" he says, then laughs.


	13. Kitten Whisperer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl is now a kitten whisperer! He also gets a run-in with Michonne and Eeeeniddd!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Short chapter. Fuck me.:3

After Carl came home, he went to his house to beg his dad for keeping Emerald. 

"Carl, we ddon't ave much cat food. We could only find some, and who knows why we kept it. No." Rick was daying. 

"Da-ad. Please? Emerald loves it here!" Carl pleads. Rick sighs. 

"Take… Emerald out of the house so I can think." Rick says, putting a hand over his eyes. 

"Emie! Come here!" Carl motions. Emerald comes over. "Lap, Emie." Carl says, patting his lap. Emerald climbs up and Carl picks her up. "I am ze cat whisperer!" Carl says, putting one leg up. 

Then he goes off to make a sandwich. Enid stops him. 

"You have a cat now?" she was with Michonne, and Michonne looked at him funnily. 

"Where'd you get it?" Michonne asked. Carl looks around nervously. Then he backs up a bit. 

"Uh… nice day today!" then he runs off. For his sandwich. 

Michonne and Enid exchanged a look.


	14. Meetings & Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Carl meet again! <3
> 
> Negan teases Carl a little bit, and they talk about chairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter, I think…
> 
> By the way:
> 
> Warning!  
> Hugging!  
> Some adorable awkward kisses!
> 
> (lol)

"Hey kid." Negan greets Carl next time they meet. Carl runs over and pauses. Negan rolls his eyes teasingly. "Y'know kid, I never thought you'd be running over to hug me. C'mere kid. I've been awake all night waitin' for this funny shit." Carl purses his lips. 

"Okay." Carl hugs Negan quickly. Negan leans forward. Carl looks around and kisses him. 

"Ugh this is so odd for me!" Carl groans. Negan laughs. 

"Believe me, kid, it's odd for me too." Negan leans back and sighs. 

"Let's not try to make sense of it all." Carl says and sits. On the ground. Road. Whatever. Negan crouches next to him. 

"I miss chairs right now." Negan sighs. Then starts pretending to sits on one. Carl laughs and does the same. Carl falls over and Negan reaches out his hand. Carl immediately takes it. When Negan swings him uoward, Carl kisses him. Carl pulls away, blushing. Negan laughs. "You're all over me, kid." then Negan sighs. "I have to go. Tomorrow, though." Carl looks down. 

"Cool. Okay. Be safe." Carl starts walking home. Negan grabs his hand and squeezes it before letting go.


	15. Spy Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are entering a chapter of Enid's POV. There are at least two of those, including this one.  
> She's pretty fun, but definitely more boring than Carl or Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild (besides Enid yelling) chaper, again, short.
> 
> Have fun

"Perfect, Emie.He's absolutely perfectly, weirdly, awesomely perfect." Carl was saying to Emerald, of which Rick had agreed to keep. 

Enid hid by the doorway, listening in. She had a confused look on. 

"But it's still too weird! Emie, I wish you could tell me what to do… Y'know, I wish I could tell Enid. She wouldn't understand…" Enid decides to step out from her hiding spot. 

"I wouldn't understand what?" she asks casually. Carl curses under his breath. 

"Private convo between m e and Emie. Go away." he says. 

"No. Now it's a private convo between the three of us. Spill." Carl winces as Enid says it. 

Carl reluctantly tells her all of it. Enid's eyes get bigger the further he goes. 

_"And you're just telling me this NOW?!?!"_ Enid screeches. Carl shushes her. 

"Shaddup. It's a secret. Negan's nice." Carl looks at Enid's face. 

"You need to straighten this out before your heart is broken by that asshole." Enid stalks out of the room. Carl looks at Emie in a told-you-so kind of way.


	16. You Are My Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan hums "You Are My Sunshine"
> 
> Apparently Carl didn't sleep (Dammit Coral! ;) ;3)
> 
> Carl is alone.
> 
> Have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild chapter.
> 
> Yay! Sunshine's namesake chapter!

Negan was humming "You Are My Sunshine" all while he was at the Saviors' place. His home. And two days passed quickly. 

Carl was sitting on the ground when Negan came up to him. Carl looked up and saw a smile on his face. But then that smile became a nervous one when he saw Carl's face. 

"Damn kid. When did you sleep?" Negan says. 

"I didn't Carl smiles. "Super tired." Negan crouches beside him. Carl leans against a tree, and Negan puts his arm around Carl. 

Before Carl fell asleep, he heard Negan singing a song. He listened in. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away." 

When Carl woke up, Negan was gone, and Michonne was shaking him awake. 

"You fell asleep? You could've been killed!" Rick was saying. 

"Carl, please try not to do that." Michonne said. 

"Alright." he mumbled. Rick hugged him. 

"I'm glad you're not hurt." Carl hugged him back. But then Carl felt something in his pocket. Paper.


	17. Pocket Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go horrible arie now!
> 
> Mwahhahahaha!!!! 
> 
> Carl spends the next two weeks in gray bliss.
> 
> Just without the bliss part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild, upsetting chapter.
> 
> Have fun everyone!
> 
> (Shoutout to Angst,the only commenter so far! )
> 
> Hey everyone! Maybe if you comment you'll get a shoutout too! I can also read your stuff if ya got some.
> 
> Read Angst_is_real's work(s)! sooo good!

Carl lays on the fllor, having read the note. It said; 

'Carl- see you in three days. There will be no note. Something happened, kid. Something bad. I might not see you for a whole month. Or never again. So don't- Okay, just go back to hating me. Just for another week and three days. I'll see what I can do. I'm sorry kid -Negan' 

Carl stared into space emptily. He felt like… nothing. Like nothing mattered. Like everything was just a big mass of gray nothing. So Carl shrugged and went on in life. 

The days passed and Carl still felt the same. Negan was a bit down, though. Carl didn't really care. 

Once Carl said to Enid, "Negan sounds sorta like 'never again'. Get it? Ne-ver a-gain. Ne-gan?" Enid nodded. 

"Yeah, Carl. It makes sense." then she blah-ed about something Carl already forgot. 

Two weeks passed before Carl knew it. He didn't remember much of anything that happened. 

Carl smiled when appropriate and laughed also when appropriate. Heaven knows he slept a lot. It seemed sort of like a defense. 

Carl just wasn't… Carl.


	18. A Different Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Another Enid's POV!
> 
> She goes and talks to Carl about being depressed and gets Carl to go see Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild normal meh chapter. Short. Boo me.
> 
> Have fun!

Enid thought she knew what happened. Carl fell asleep, Negan left, now Carl was depressed about it. 

But it didn't seem quite right. Negan just left! Enid knew she hated Negan and all, but she also hated seeing her best friend being nothing. 

So Enid dragged Carl out of the Grimes' house and out of the gate. 

"Go." Enid demands. "Go see him." Carl looks at her emptily. "Don't be a dumbass, Carl. Go." Enid points down the road. "And don't come back… until you see him." Enid crosses her arms and goes into Alexandria again. 

Enid goes to the Grimes' house and talks to Rick. 

"Carl is outside the gate. Don't worry." she says, leaning againsa kitchen counter. 

"Okay," Rick says. "As long as-" Enid cuts him off. 

"He knows. It's okay." Enid walks out and sits on the porch and sighs. 

"I hope he makes it back alive- and feeling _something_ "


	19. New Territory, No Hesitating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl sees You-Know-Whoooooooo!
> 
> Never-Again Negan (lol) they have a fun awkward adorable moment
> 
> Don't get embarrassed! (xD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!  
> Kissing, embarrassing cuteness
> 
> Hey y'all! Have fun!

Carl didn't see him. At all. No traces. Again, at all. So he walks on further down the road. About thirty minutes later, he bumps into a solid figure. 

"Jesus fucking christ. Holy shit! God- Carl? Kid?" the figure says. Carl looks up and sees Negan. He then crumples. Negan catches him. 

"Holy shit, kid, what the hell happened-" Negan cuts himself off. "Why are you out here? Okay, follow me." Negan pulls Carl after him. 

They end up in a clearing in the forest. Carl breathes in a breath and starts talking. 

"It felt like nothing. Like it didn't matter. Like-" Negan kisses him fully on the lips, and Carl melts. He puts his arms around Negan, and Negan does likewise. Carl opens his mouth, hoping Negan would respond. And he does! Negan does the same! 

Carl gently breathes into Negan's mouth. Negan pulls away and grabs Carl's hand. Carl looks at him. 

"We're closer, kid. Can you tell?" Negan jokes, laughing a little bit. 

Carl nods, all serious. Carl brushes his hair out of the way. 

"We are. New territory, no hesitating." Carl then turn joking. "Next time feel free to stick your tongue down my throat." Negan laughs again, and Carl laughs with him.


	20. Boyfriends (A note from Negan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is a cute note from Negan, and it has a chapter all its own because of it!
> 
> Have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cute chapter.
> 
> Feel free to "Awwwwwwwww" everyone! ;p

Carl- You are my: 

Boyish 

Odd 

Yummy (ha!) 

Funny 

Really weird 

Interesting 

Empathetic 

Never boring 

Devoted guy 

And that won't change. See you in two days. Stop being depressed, it depresses me. Now keep being normal. And I might _just_ stick my tongue down your throat next time. (Wink wink.) You are cute. Flippin' cute and I am _still_ talking. And stop being embarrassed about kissing me. Don't be afriad of that shit. Cuz you are 

Cool 

Awesome 

Really cute 

Loving/Lovely 

I don't know if I should say 'love you' yet, so 

Yours, 

Your boyfriend, Negan ;)


	21. A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl has a horrible dream on repeat, and it scares the hell outta him.
> 
> But then he accepts it, and he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!
> 
> Welcome to the 21st everyone! I love all of your support, even if I crave more comments (lol) and I decided to do one or two or four more chapters today to get a little ahead.
> 
> Have fun! It's mild, just a little upsetting.

Carl blushed when he read the note. He had came home, wanting to read Negan's note that he had passed to Carl before Carl went home. 

Carl found Enid and dragged her to his room. 

"Carl?" Enid said, surprised. Carl locked the door and plopped on the floor. 

"Enid…we're…boyfriends!" Carl said the last word quieter. Enid smiles, not because she was glad- but because she was happy to see Carl being Carl again- or at least, the Carl with Negan. Carl was smiling uncontrollably. 

About an hour later, Carl feeds Emie and sleeps. 

He dreams about Negan bashing Abraham's and Glenn's heads in. Abraham first, then Glenn. 

It seemed in slow motion. One hit after the other. 

"Suck…my…nuts." the last words Abraham said echoed in Carl's mind. 

The worst part was, after it was done… it repeated. Abraham, Glenn, Abraham, Glenn, over and over, again and again. 

Carl glared at Negan, mixed feeling flashing. Hatred, sadness, helplessness, something odd… like love, but at the same time… Carl didn't know. 

Then he felt acceptance, and Carl woke up. 

He gasped and sighed, then closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep. When he did, it was the same dream.


	22. Work It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl sees Negan after about two days, and they work things out in their own way.
> 
> A little bit of…
> 
> Yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!
> 
> Mild chapter
> 
> Warning!  
> Making out

Carl walks outide of the gate, sorta not ready to see Negan. 

Carl, in the past day and a half, just wandered aimlessly. 

So when Carl saw Negan, he hesitated. Then he went over and kissed him then sat on a log. Negan sat next to him. 

"What's wrong, kid?" Negan finally asked. Carl looks over glumly. Then Carl told him the dream. Negan nods. "Ye-ah…" Negan says. Then he turned and makes Carl look at him. 

When Carl does, Negan kisses him, softly at first then more insistant. Carl returns the insistancy. Negan _did_ actually put his tongue in Carl's mouth. Carl accepted it. Negan moves over so he was facing Carl. Carl puts his arms around Negan's shoulders. Negan puts his on _Carl's_ shoulders. 

Carl scoots closer and Negan moves one of his arms to put Carl's knees between his, then he puts his arm back on his shoulder. 

Carl pulls away and then kisses him again, deeply, open-mouthed, with tongue. Negan opens his eyes quickly, sees Carl's eye shut, and closess his again. 

And they keep kissing.


	23. Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl asks the big question…
> 
> what will Negan respond with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild chapter. It has making out (like, duh)

Carl goes home, daydreaming abou t Negan. Just… Negan. Carl goes through the gate and to the house. He goes to the living room to daydream more. He quickly pulls out the note and scans it, beforepocket ing it. 

'Tomorrow. Be safe. Love, Negan' 

Carl waits for his dad to come home. He realizes, an hour later, that his dad is probably busy. Meh. 

So h e goes to his room and lies on the floor. 

When Carl woke up, early morning light was filtering through the windows. He had passed out. Or at least, fallen asleep. 

He got up and walked outside. It was quiet and oh my god! Carl realized that tomorrow was the day for Negan to come! 

He was now making out with Negan. They had met with a kiss that had turned into another long M.O.S.. Carl didn't mind. Carl pulls away. 

"I love you." he expected Negan to answer him, but then Negan pauses and he seems to stare off into he distance. 

Carl waits a bit. Then he gets up and sits closer to Negan on their log. 

Carl looks directly into Negan's eyes and asks him the question he was wondering for quite a while. 

"Do you?… Love me?"


	24. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan have a little awkward moment after Carl has a little fantasy from fantasyland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild-ish. Just a little blush blush, wink wink, ha ha action.

"Forever." was the first word out of Negan's mouth. Though, again, he seemed distant when he said it. Did he mean it? Why was he distracted? These questions remained in Carl's mind while they resumed kissing. But Carl pushed them awy as he focused on Negan's lips on his. 

Carl imagined Negan in his hot leather, and then him with his shirt off. Carl blushes and continues fantasizing. Then Negan taking off Carl's shirt and then them against each other… Carl was definitely excited now… then Carl fantasizes the most daring thing he's done, or something. 

Both of them touching… all the way. (Blush blush, wink wink, ha ha.) Bet you can guess. 

Carl snaps out of his fantasy when he hears Negan laughing. Negan had pulled away and sat down, then made Carl sit on his lap. Carl looks at him and blushes. 

"Sorry." he mumbles. Negan looks at him amusedly. 

"No problem. You got yourself worked up over something. Should I know what?" Negan gave a pointed look down. Carl blushes a deeper red. He starts to get up, but Negan moves so Carl falls down in a sitting posistion again. This time, he falls in between Negan's legs, chest against Negan's. Negan pulls Carl's face to his. Carl responds immediately. 

They remain like that, gazing into each other's eyes.


	25. Here And Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Rick have a stupid talk after Carl's boyfriend leaves (Negan!).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal chapter, mild, Carl goes to his and Negan's log and thinks.

Carl stands with his arms crossed, waiting for Negan and his posse to leave. 

He had gotten in trouble, for some reason, and now he was waiting for his boyfriend- yay! - to leave so he could get the talk -boo!- over with. 

After Negan does leave, Rick gives Carl a talking to. 

"You've been so distant, and you've been ignoring people, and you found… a cat! And you don't let anyone go out of the gate with you and-" Rick halts and stops pacing. "Carl! Are you even listening?" Carl nods. Rick continues. "This is not like you. Well, it is, but more than normal. Are you okay? Carl!" Carl nods again. "Carl… I just want you to be here. Now. Here and now." Rick says, softer this time. 

"Yeah. I know. You'll be surprised to know that _it doesn't matter."_ Carl walks out of the house and through the gate while Aaron and Eric were walking into Alexandria. 

Carl goes and sits on the log, thinking. His dad didn't understand. And Carl was sick of it. Carl stands up and paces. 

'I mean, yeah, I'm distant. Why not just let someone "take care of me" while I'm at home. Sheesh, you'd think he-' 

Carl stops pacing, thinks, and starts heading home.


	26. For Worse or For Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan shows up and ruins- or not- something for Carl, and Carl tries something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, lots of disgusting songs (lol) me and my… sister/friend made them up, and I added it into Sunshine. Negan is so gross. Whatever, it could happen.

Carl sees Negan humming the "My Little Pony" theme song.

"My Little Pony?" Carl teases, sitting next to Negan. Negan starts singing. 

"My little weiner, my little weiner, ohh oh ohhh oh! My little weiner, sex!" Negan sings. Carl squints at him, trying not to laugh or cry, or both. 

"New song!" Carl exclaims. Negan smiles and starts humming "Be Our Guest". Carl sighs. Negan starts singing again. 

"Suck my dick, suck my dick, stick it up where it's nice and slick-" Carl cuts him off. 

"Okay, you've either made my childhood better, or worse, and I can't tell." Negan smiles slyly. 

"Well, I meant it with the second one." he says. Carl's eye widens and he jumps off the log, but stumbles and crouches to make himself steady. "That posistion is all the better." Negan comments. Carl scowls at him, but stays that way, actually waiting for Negan to try it. Negan looks at him amusedly. Carl then gets up, brushes himself off and sits on the log, sort of miffed. Well, not really. He was just trying something. Negan totally takes the bait (lol) and gets up. Carl turns his head away and crosses his arms. But Carl couldn't help smiling slightly.


	27. Playing Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan actually KNEELS! (WHERE IS THE OLD NEGAN? WHO IS THIS NEW PERSON?) Carl is trying something, and he goes a leeeeettle too far. (That was "little", just longer and in the way I typed it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you'll see later on in the series, Carl likes testing out Negan and playing with him. This chapter is a huge demonstration of that.

Negan sighs and mutters "I hate kneeling." but kneels anyway, right in front of Carl. Carl looks at him, and purses his lips. Negan looks at him and sighs again. 

"I'm sorry, kid, but jeez. It was a joke. Don't tell me you have a shit sense of humor." Carl rolls his eye, but still doesn't say anything. Negan groans. "Damn it." he curses. Carl had a jump of glee. He sorta liked having Negan on his knees in front of him. Though, the point that Negan would _ever_ do that, was truly mind. Blowing. Seriously. 

"What do you want?" Negan said. Carl purses his lips again. Then he gets up and walks further down the road. Then he grabs a long strick and draws "Tomorrow you'll see." then he walks back to the log, and finds Negan partially up, on one knee, that is. 

"M'bye." Carl says, and kisses Negan before walking home. 

Carl goes to his house, humming Negan's version of "Be Our Guest". 

Then he goes into Judith's room and picks her up. 

"Hi Judith," he coos. "You look nice." Judith claps her hands together. He smiles and sits down. She does it again. 

"Buh… buh buh." she says, and coos. Carl grins. 

"You tryna' say 'brother'? Say Carl'." he says. 

"Arl… Ca-ca-Carl…" Judith says, tilting her head.


	28. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan see each other again, and Carl surprises Negan with something wonderful!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is a mild, awesome chapter.
> 
> I'm sorry everyone, this is going to be the last long streak chapter frenzy for a while. I will post every once in a while, but not that often. Thank you for reading so far! We are FAAAARRRR from over. x3 Especially with a second book that I'm working on right now.

"Alright." Negan was saying. "I waited for you just in case if you were kidding, and missed something at the Sanctuary. Whadda ya want, kid?" Carl grins. He had waited until Judith fell asleep, then he had talked to his dad. He said he was going on a mission to find stuff and that he shouldn't expect Carl back until maybe tomorrow or longer. Rick freaked, duh, and Carl reassured him that he _would_ return. Rick had only one little percent of saying no. If something happened, Carl would not have gone. But something made Rick agree. Carl wasn't about to press, lest Rick take away this opportunity. 

"So?" Negan demands. Carl holds up the bag he packed. 

"Ta-da! Surprise! I am either gonna stay with you for a bit, or stay close to you!" Carl exclaims. Negan's mouth drops open. Then it closes. Negan grabs Carl's arm and starts walking down the road, where he finds one of the Savior's motorcycles. Negan stops and guestures. Carl's eye widens. 

"Really?" he says. Negan sighs. 

"Yeah, really. Go." Negan pushes Carl to the motorcycle and Carl gets partially on. Negan rearranges him and gets on himself. 

Negan starts it and Carl holds onto him. They vroom off into the distance and some other romantic shit.


	29. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're the-ere!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's been a while, but I had this feelinng, inside my bones, it goes electric wavy when I turn it on. lol! Have funnnn!

Carl hops awkwardly off and almost falls, but Negan catches him. Carl smiles and gets up. He then pauses. 

"Uhhh…" Negan sighs. 

"Come with me." Carl follows Negan, and soon they're in the same room as before. Thanks to Negan, Carl wasn't seen. Thank. God. 

"Okay. Welcome to your home for a couple of days. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be just a moment." Negan walks out and Carl sits on the couch like before. Just be normal… 

Negan walks back inside about ten minutes later with two sandwiches. Carl takes one when Negan offers it to him. 

"Kid, that is _not_ making yourself comfortable. Relax." Negan says. He plops on the couch opposite Carl and sighs comfortably. Carl just puts his elbows on his legs and leans on them. Negan laughs. Carl smiles. Then Negan gets up and sits sideways, legs up, then faces Carl. He smiles, and motions for Carl to come over to him. Carl does, and Negan pushes him onto the couch beside him. They remain like that for a while, in silence, eating their sandwiches, until Negan sighs and gets up to see the time. He turns to Carl and smiles. Carl had grabbed a pillow and now was hugging it, looking at Negan. "Well, kid. It's time for bed. Get _comfortable_. Got it?" Negan says. Carl nods. Negan nods back. 

"Love you," Carl calls quietly after him. 

"Love you too, kid." came Negan's response.


	30. Bedtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adorable, but sooo awkward! They are gettin' 'a ready for bed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof! Carl, so awkward of you! Lol. Anyway, have fun!

Carl waits for Negan while Negan got ready for bed. He clutches the pillow with one arm while putting the other over his face dramatically. 

Negan comes out and kisses him. Negan then laughs. 

Carl looks at him, and his breath quickens. 

Negan was shirtless and it reminded Carl of his fantasy. Carl closes his eye, and when he reopens it, Negan was putting on a new shirt. 

"Don't!" he says, then blushes. Negan laughs again and takes the shirt off again. 

"Why?" Negan asks. Carl looks down. 

"Just… please?" Carl looks back at him. 

"O…kay." Negan tosses the shirt on the other couch and gets in the bed. Carl lies back down for a moment before getting up. 

"So, uh…" he says. Negan raises an eyebrow. 

"I said this was your home. So, get over here." Negan says. 

Carl walks over and blushes. 

"Sorry." he murmurs, and joins Negan. Negan puts an arm around him for a minute, then pulls the blanket up. Carl closes his eye. 

"Hmmm…" Carl sighs happily. 

"Yup." Negan responds. 

Carl laughs.


	31. The Stupid/Funny Joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god. Negan tells a stupid joke. Carl gets embarrassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T BLIEVE I DID THIS CHAPTER! WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo………
> 
> Have fun reading! It sure as hell embarrassed me, did it embarrass you?

But Carl opens his eye and turns to Negan. Negan was looking back at him. 

"Because it was in a fantasy of mine." Carl blurts. Negan looks at him questioningly. Carl explains. 

"The shirtlessness was in my fantasy." Carl didn't stop blushing. 

"Ah." Negan says, then smirks. "How… fucking awesome is it that you have a fantasy… about me! That shit is _awesome._ " 

Carl sighs, laughs and kisses him. 

"Living it would be better." Carl confesses. Then smiles. He then proceeds to tell Negan all about it. Even the blushy, winky, laughy part. Negan's grin grew with each thing Carl told him. 

Soon they kissed. I mean, Negan started it. Carl just kissed him back fervently. 

"I'm glad you let me come." Carl says on a pause. Negan laughs. 

"Who said I let you cum?" Carl's mouth drops open. 

"Did you… wha- did you…" he stutters. Negan smiles in the darkness. 

"Sure did. Now what?" Negan asks. 

Carl shifts so his whole body was facing Negan. 

"Sleep?" he asks. 

"Okay." Negan laughs. 

Carl turns till his back was facing Negan, and Negan hugs him around the waist.


	32. Hair Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh… just look at the chapter name, you'll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty fun (^^)
> 
> Heya! I'm updatin' again!

Carl wakes up the next morning, mumbling. Then he sits up blearily. 

"Why d'I gotta wake upppp…" Carl moaned. He rubbed his eye and shakes his head.

More awake, Carl gets up and combs his fingers through his hair. 

"Ow!" Carl exclaims softly, fingers catching on a knot in his hair. He tries to pull his hand through, but then his hand gets stuck. He tugs on his hand, but it still sticks. 

He lets it dangle, pissed off about it. He was just scowling at the ground when Negan walks in. Carl sits on the floor, against the bed. He pretends he was sitting with his hand behind his head. He puts on a fake innocent expression with a very innocent smile. _Very innocent!_ Don't you forget it! 

Negan takes one glance and bursts out laughing. 

"What the fuck? Are you shitting me? What did you do?" Negan says through his laughing. Carl scowls again. 

"Not _my_ fault!" Carl whines. Negan stops laughing finally and was smiling to himself. 

"God Carl. You are a fucking idiot. That's why brushes are made. Plus, you can easily take that out. Jeez. Though, to be fair, you can't see behind your head." Negan leans over. "Lemme help, kid. I got this."


	33. C-A-R-L is Complicated, Annoying, Rebellious, &…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> xD sorta funny! There is new meaning to Carl's name d(^_*)

"There." Negan says, after taking Carl's hand out of his hair. Carl smiles gratefully at him. Negan shakes his head and laughs. 

Carl rolls his eye, and then kisses Negan. "Thanks, asshole." Carl jokes. Negan grins. 

"No problem, idiot." Negan returns. Carl sticks out his tongue playfully. "You know, kid, I have a new C-A-R-L. Complicated, Annoying, Rebellious, Loving. There. C-A-R-L." Negan nods to finalize it. Carl rolls his eye again.. 

"You kept the 'L' the same." Carl points out. Negan nods again. 

"Well, duh. I can't have you all rude, mean, and annoying. There's gotta be something nice about you." Negan says, like it was obvious. 

Maybe that _was_ obvious… anyway, whatever. Carl looks around for food. Negan spots him looking. 

"Hungry, kid?" Negan asks, and when Carl nods, Negan grabs some cereal and passes it to him. Carl grabs the spoon and scarfs it down. Negan laughs. 

Carl gives the bowl back to Negan. Negan goes into a different room and when he comes back, he has a slightly worried face on. 

"What?" Carl asks, wondering what's wrong. 

"You'll have to be here all day. Alone." Negan responds.


	34. Fantasizing To High Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's gonna fantasize lol xD

"Ugh… fflnnoouu!" Carl huffs, mouth full. He, of course, was eating. Like normal. "Imf eene, if shucksh." Carl rants. Carl swallows, sighs, and plops on the bed. 

Then he has an idea. He sits up. 

"Fantasizing!" he yelps, feeling free and… 

And next thing I know, he's pretend kissing the air, stopping every once in a while to snort and laugh at how ridiculous. Then, details aside, he pretends that, well… um… they… okay, this is fine. He pretends that they have sex. But not really, because he keeps laughing into a pillow. 

But he forges on effortlessly, almost as if he'd done it before. Where was he? When? Where. Was. I?! 

Then he stops that, gets a dreamy look on his face, and gets up and starts humming. 

Carl starts swaying and… pretends he's dancing with Negan. 

"Na na na… NAAaaa… na na na… na-na la doo doo da!" Carl singss out, very off-key. "I love yooouu! Da da dee doo!" 

Then he sits on the floor suddenly. Carl purses his lips thoughtfully, and smiles. "I really do love you." he says. Then he gets up. 

"Wanna go on a date?" he says. "Yes." he answers himself.


	35. Propose To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a really cute chapter! Hilarious, too. Carl acts out his "date" with Negan xD

Carl acts out his date, and then hums "You Are My Sunshine" until he's in a garden, facing Negan. 

"So… Carl, kid." Carl says as Negan. "Yes?" he says. "Um, well. I wanted to ask you something." said 'Negan'. 

Carl blinks kindly, waiting. In reality, he was facing the bed. 

"Well…" 'Negan' hesitates. Carl kneels on one knee, and holds out a hand, like he was proposing. "Carl, kid, will you marry me?" Carl ('Negan') says, right when Negan says; 

"Kid?" Negan came back! Carl jolts up and spins around. "Kid, what the hell were you doing?" Negan looked amused, but also partly worried. Or upset. Or both. 

"Pro-proposing," Carl says awkwardly. "T-to the, um, to the bed." Carl swallows, wide eyed. Deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. 

"Riiight." Negan says. He sighs when he sees all the empty food containers on the table. "Kid, stop doing that." Negan says. Negan knew that Carl ate when thinking, or stressed, or bored, or - anytime really. Carl had told him that. 

Carl smiles widely and innocently. 

Negan crosses over to him and kisses him softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be relived a million and two times, beware xD


	36. Wish Come True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl loses sense of the word wish xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if you've noticed, but Carl's fantasies are crazy ^3^ There's no shame. But even I feel embarrassed by Carl's antics for him.

They hung out, but soon enough, Negan had to go again. 

And Carl resumed his fantasy. 

"Yes!" Carl exclaims, hand on his heart. "Oh ma gawd yes! I love you Negan!" Carl laughs in Negan form. 

"I love you too, kid." 'Negan' says. Carl kisses the air again, and grabbed Negan's 'hand'. 

"Skip time now…" Carl says, and moves onto the bed. He sighs. "I wish that would come true…" Carl says, mournful. "I wish wish wishety wish wish." Carl then laughs. 

"Wiiishhh… yup. Lost sense of the word." he says. 

About an hour later, Negan comes back. 

"Hiya." Carl says, and sniffs. Negan raises an eyebrow. 

"Hi." Negan answers, and sits. Next to Carl, of course. Carl rolls onto his face. 

"Oo wer gone orever…" Carl mumbles into the bed. He rolls back over and finds Negan looking at him. 

"What?" Carl asks. Negan looks away. 

"Nothing, kid. Just… Nothing." Negan replies.


	37. Yeahhh…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boo… bad lapse… ugh.

"Imma go home tomorrow. I have to." Carl says later that night, before bed. They were lying together. 

"Yeah." Negan says. Carl turns and kisses him. 

Negan had been gracious enough to leave his shirt off, to which Carl had said "Boy, I'm training you so well." Negan had given him a teasing warning glare. 

Not another word, or else we're going by my fantasy." Negan had threatened. Carl had stayed quiet, not knowing whether he would want that or not. 

"Hmmm…" Carl says. "Boy-" Negan cuts him off. 

"Last time a sentence started with 'boy', there was a threat, and that threat wasn't light." Negan raises an eyebrow in the darkness. "Don't mess it up." Carl laughs and kisses him again. Negan kisses him back. 

"Love you." Carl whispers. Negan laughs this time. 

"Love you too, kid. Now stop tryna kill me." Negan replies. 

"Kill you?" Carl asks. 

"Yeah, kid. Your cuteness and youngness is tooo fast for my oldness and slowness." Negan responds. 

"Ah," Carl laughs again. "Makes sense." 

"Or maybe I'll kill you first." Negan warns. "Watch it." 

"Mmmm… you wouldn't." Carl says, and snuggles up into Negan's arms.


	38. Death Apon Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's still bad. Carl's leeeeettle bad.

Carl gets up after two hours, and slips a pillow right where he was. He packs his stuff. He takes one last look at Negan, and sighs softly. 

"Bye." he says, and leaves. He makes it home, a while later, and gets let in. 

"Carl!" Rick says, and hugs him. Carl hugs him back. 

"Missed you." Carl says quietly. He opens his bag and grabs some stuff and pulls it out. He had grabbed some food before he left and put it in his bag. Pudding, chips, four apples, more pudding, and more chips. And a paper. 

Huh? 

Carl stuffs the paper back in and puts the food on his house's kitchen counter. 

Then he sits and comes up with a lie to tell his dad. After he does tell Rick, he goes to bed and moans. 

"Oh god… Negan's gonna killlll meeeee…" he groans. Then puts his right hand over his face. "Maybe I'd better not see him for a bit." Carl says. "I don't wanna die just yet."


	39. Am I 'onna 'ie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl finally goes to see Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote this at night with barely any light. Now I wonder if that was really the best option.

Carl wanders off-road next time he tries to see Negan. He peers around a tree a little ways away from the log. _Their_ log. He sees a familiar shape and sighs. Carl walks towards him, and pauses a little before heading fully out. 

"H-" he gets cut off by Negan roughly kissing him. "Am I 'onna 'ie?" Carl asks, lips still pressed against Negan's. "Are 'ou 'onna kill me?" 

Negan pulls away. Then frowns. Theenn crosses his arms against his chest. 

"No. I am not gonna kill you. But you will _not_ do that again." Negan demands. "And, it's been a full week since you've left, and I'm really pissed at that shit." Carl winces. 

Carl had stayed out of sight when the Saviors came two days before, so that way, Negan wouldn't even get a glimpse of him. Instead he hung out with Enid. 

"So sorry…" Carl trails off. Negan shakes his head. 

"Wish sorry could make it better, but it can't, kid. Somehow, I will get back at you." 

Carl cringes and sits. "Still sorry." he says.


	40. Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh… stupid non-fights.

They sat. And didn't talk, or even kiss. Carl started feeling crappy. Then Negan gets up. 

"Don't." Carl says, frowning up at him. Negan sighs. 

"C'mon, kid, there's nothing else to do." Negan says simply. 

"No, but… whatever. Go. I'm done right now." Carl grumbles and gets up. 

"Great fucking timing." Negan mutters. He walks away. 

Carl watches him go, then runs in the opposite direction. 

"No, don't." he says to himself. Then laughs. "You'te a fucking idiot. No, please no…" his voice changes from harsh to pleading. "Shut the fuck up, you worthless bitch." Then he arrives. Home, that is. 

He was tired. Tired from running, tired from dealing with Negan, and tired of being yelled at by everyone. 

"Hi." He tosses over his shoulder at Eugene. Then he nods to Rosita, and smiles at his dad. 

"Hey, Carl!" Michonne calls, and waves him over.


	41. Little Judy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl talks with Judith.

"Yeah?" Carl asks, going over to her. Michonne looks at him.

"You- nevermind. Can you help me with Judith tomorrow?" Carl nods, smiling. 

"She said my name. Ish. Does 'Ca-wl' count?" Michonne nods. 

"Maybe. I don't know. Rick would be excited, but don't tell him. He'd go crazy, trying to make her say it again." 

"Makes sense." Carl smiles. 

After a bit of talking, they part ways, and Carl walks into Judith's room. 

"Hey, Little Judy," he says, referring to Carl's affectionate nickname for her. "How are you, my darling little sister?" Judith coos and makes grabbing motions with her little hands. Carl picks her up and bounces her around a bit. "I love you. And I know Emie loves you." That's true. Emerald takes to the girl like how Carl is to… him. 

Anyway, here comes Emerald now. Walking into the room like she owns the place. 

Judith burbles at the cat, smiling. Carl looks at her. "Do you like Emie?" he asks in his baby voice. 

Judith burbles wordlessly, making meowing sounds. 

"You are an odd little girl," Carl says, rasing an eyebrow, "but everyone will still love you."


	42. The Paper Inside His Backpack… Is Blank (a.k.a., The Talk With Enid)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl hangs out with Enid, and she gives him strangely good advice.

The next day, Carl watches Judith, reading books or making up stories to tell to her. He also sings. Not that he'd tell anyone. He sung nursery rhymes like Little Bo Peeop and Humpty Dumpty. Oh, and… You Are My Sunshine. He was singing softly for that, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice. _He_ ruined the song for him. Asshole. 

After he takes care of Judith, he goes and searches his backpack, looking around for the oddly placed paper that he found when he came back from _his_ place. When he finds it, he unfold it and sets it down, as he hears a car come back from scavenging probably. 

He gets up and goes outside, squinting into the early brightness. Sure enough, there is a car with Alexandrians in it from scavenging. He sighs and looks for Enid. When he finds her, he brings her to his room and they talk. He tells her about his and _his_ last meeting, and she sighs. 

"Carl, fights will happen. There is no relationship in the world where a fight didn't happen." Enid says, exasperated. Carl winces. 

"I know, but still! It's horrible! It isn't even any fight! It's just… there. Ever present. More obvious than a walker trying to eat you!" Enid raises her eyebrows. 

"Odd example, but okay." she says, then sighs. "There absolutely will be times where you want to break up, too. You have to push on. No matter what. It'll be fine. If you're in love, you can do it. Promise." 

Carl bites his lip. "Okayyyyyyy…………" Enid glares at him. 

"Whatever. If you don't believe me, then fine. I'm outta here." Enid gets up and leaves. But before she does, she smiles faintly at Carl. "I wish you luck."


	43. Rough Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a bad lapse. But at least I post more words at a time!
> 
> ("bad lapse" means a bad part of time in the book. Sorry for not explaining earlier.)

Carl lies down on their log, and sighs. He had walked out to it after talking to Enid, so he could think. He then gets up and paces. 

"I'm sorry." he says. "No, you're not. I _know_ you'll do it again." Carl clenches his hands into fists. "Please… can I make it up to you?" Then he sits. "No. So, I'm sorry, but I'mma have to end it now." 

"Hmmm?" Says someone behind him. Carl yelps, and gets up. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry don't kill me!" he says, hands up. 

"Carl? Uh… are you okay?" Says the voice. The one that is _clearly_ his dad. 

"Oh, it's just you," Carl sighs a breath of relief. Rick looks confused. 

"Who did you think it was? And who were you talking to?" Rick asks. Carl purses his lips. 

"I onno. Nobody, I guess." he replies. Then he sits on the log. Carl's and _his_ log. Rick sits next to him. Carl remembers all of the talkin and making out that he and _he_ did. He smiles and supresses his laughter. 

Rick pats Carl on the back. 

"I know you've been having rough times, Carl, but whenever you need to talk, go to me." 

Rick gets up and smiles. "Take care of yourself. Be back before nightfall." 

Carl nods. When Rick leaves, only then does he laugh. But it quickly turns into laughing sobs, tears treaming down his face. Yeah, rough times. And he doesn't know how to get out of this one.


	44. Bulimia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh… here we go. Carl makes some bad decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please don't blame me if I did this wrong. I did this in about February this year. I'm not gonna change it, but just a warning.

When Carl gets home, he grabs lots of food and goes to his room. He opens things and eats them all in a short time. After, he pauses. 

'Maybe… just maybe…' he thinks. He was remembering something he learned about. Eating disorders. Anorexia… no… but _bulimia_ … Not that he'd have an eating disorder, but… I mean, he would decide to do it. He'd be able to stop any time. 

So Carl slowly walks over to the bathroom and shuts the door, and locks it, just in case. Then, he sticks his index and middle finger in his mouth, and he pushes really hard, and-- 

Carl starts throwing up everything he had just eaten, and then, after his stomach was empty, he pauses. 

"That… was… pretty… um, great." he admits to himself. He flushrs, cleans up his mouth, puts on a big smile, and exits the bathroom. 

That night, he decides to go to his and Negan's log the next day, so maybe he could spend a couple more nights again. 

"That would be great," he says tiredly, "I miss beds again…" 

Emerald curls up to Carl and purrs, as if saying that it was a good idea. 

"Thanks Emie!" Carl laughs. 

Then he falls asleep, dreaming of yours truly, Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (END OF BAD LAPSE)
> 
> And by the way, about the bulimia:  
> All it is is a bad decision. And sometimes you can get stuck with the decision. Please please think before doing anything like this. Carl had thought about it, yes, but still took the decision. Please be more mindful than Carl. You will learn later how this affects him. And even though Carl thought about it, he thought about it in the wrong way. Like it was no big deal. It is.


End file.
